i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
