I didn't shave. On purpose
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
