I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
