Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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