im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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