It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
