who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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