Buhtt sex?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'd cum for enchiladas.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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