I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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