He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
