yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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