Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
