How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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