her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
