Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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