His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
