We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
tell me about the fingering
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