u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
