Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize