I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
