Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
