I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
