I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
