You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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