he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize