You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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