i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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