mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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