Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
