And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
