I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
