whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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