I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
there is glitter all over my balls
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
