I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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