you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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