Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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