Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
