Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
