I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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