We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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