I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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