1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize