You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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