The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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