on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
