hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
