U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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