i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just come out here and I will go home with you...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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