I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
