I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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