I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
