if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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