I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
