he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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