we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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