So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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