I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
