if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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