Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...

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(760): View more from California

No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.

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(813): View more from Florida

Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love

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(718): View more from New York

I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.

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(817): View more from Texas

Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.

(817): View more from Texas

Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".

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(707): View more from California

He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you

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