I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We have started to decorate penises.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize