Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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