she looked like the before picture.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize