I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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