Taylor Swift is so right about you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
