i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
