I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
ttyl tear gas
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
