LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
