Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
