i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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