Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
